Are we over the “black squares” yet? Yeah? Ok, cool. Let’s talk about something that really irritated me about the #BlackoutTuesday debacle. 

First, I was inspired to finally start this series that I had been holding off on for far too long after being introduced to Vivian Kaye and Komal Minhas. I instantly loved their energy but also the unapologetic way that they showed up online; imperfect but real. My phrase for 2020 was:

“Take up space INTENTIONALLY and UNAPOLOGETICALLY”

To be honest with you I haven’t really done that. Not the way I envisioned at least. Watching Vivian and Komal’s Instagram stories really inspired me to start a series I had wanted to do years ago called How I Really Feel About. The series which will live here on my blog and shared on social, is an honest and raw deep dive into my mind where I’ll share my thoughts, feelings and experiences around certain topics. The purpose isn’t to “complain” but to highlight the varied experiences we may have in the hopes that we feel less isolated and alone. Because the truth is, it’s very likely that someone else has had a similar experience (or thought) and has never voiced it. I believe that this internalization does more harm than good. Will I out some people? Perhaps. Will you get offended? Maybe. But will I keep it 100? Absofuckinglutely. 

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I think, and hope, after the past week (which felt like a month) that we’ve all started the process of learning more about systemic racism in this country and the ways in which they’re upheld, how we’ve been complicit and what we can do on an individual and community level to dismantle it. This is a difficult process that is very much a rinse and repeat action; something to do continuously. Something that requires you to PAUSE, take a beat, REFLECT, and get REAL with yourself.

Tuesday’s chaos around the block square really fucking pissed me off. And let me tell you why. It proved that people post just to post because they feel a psychological social pressure to do so without really knowing why they’re doing it. And I get it. We’ve all been there right? Never-mind the fact that there were three different similar online protests going on that I won’t get into because that is not the point. Some posted without researching the purpose of it all and how it was supposed to be done in the first place. That was one group, and then you have the group of people that “woke up to all these black squares.” OMG! the horror! and assumed we were being silenced. How can we mute ourselves?! They too didn’t research the purpose of it all. Personally for me, I saw more posts from people complaining about these evil black squares (and taking advantage of the moment) more than anything else. It’s so stupid! Why would we silence ourselves at a time like this? 

Listen honey boo-boo, I think the point was missed entirely. Mute your regular content; your iced latte pics, outfit posts, selfies etc. and instead focus on amplifying the voices of the black community. Focus on internal reflection, reading and learning. PAUSE we did not. Suddenly everyone wanted to “do their part.” GREAT! But what exactly does that mean? I think it will mean different things to different people and I in no way want to tell someone how to do that. However, I do think that the first step in the process is learning, reading and internal reflection, and in doing this the question of what and why you’re posting something on social media should come up. It’s easy to share, so incredibly easy, without looking into what you’re sharing to ensure that it’s even accurate. I’ve done this before myself and didn’t want to do that. I was trying my best to be cautious and spent so much time looking into things because I saw one too many donation links that were scams. As I read and talked with my black friends about what they were seeing and experiencing on social media the topic of self-centering and erasure came up a lot. In the quest to do my part and show support online I didn’t want to unknowingly engage in this process so I took a beat before posting on my feed. It made me more aware and truthfully, more analytical of what was being posted and what the language in their captions.

I want to believe that people have the best intentions and that was hard to do on Tuesday because of the overflow of posts from people that wanted “to stand out” from the black squares and provide useful information, mainly in the form of roundup posts to support black businesses, creators etc. Which is amazing right? But what I saw was branded content and if it was branded, then how was that amplifying the black community? Seemed like just another personal piece of content to me, seemed self-centering; let’s support black businesses! Let’s give them our money! Here’s something more resourceful than posting a lil black square!. Look at what I’m doing that’s so much more than a square without action steps! We should support black businesses, all the time, not just in this moment so I hope that that continues. But I found it interesting that the people that shared content like this were praised for their resourcefulness vs those that only posted black squares as less than. As though they were only posting and ghosting, and while some may have, you also don’t know what people were/are doing offline. You know, where the real work is. 

And yet a common theme popped up: 

1. Posting/sharing just because

2. Lack of research

3. Those that shared this type of content gained lots of followers because the sharing of their branded content worked conveniently with the algorithm. 
   

What I saw were people posting and tagging black businesses/accounts and they weren’t even following them themselves! 🤔 And others just blindly resharing without checking this. And you know what, it’s a fucking problem.  Again, I want to believe that what we’re each doing is genuine especially when it comes to social media. But what I saw just didn’t feel like it to me. Because if some had actually paused, done some reading, and thought about why they were posting...I don’t think I would’ve seen what I saw and I don’t think my black friends would’ve been so annoyed by it either. Sharing information is good, sharing accurate information is very good, and making sure that you are crediting the source (especially if black) is of the utmost importance, especially at a time when the focus is on them because not doing so is erasure. 

Things move so fast in this digital space and we’re quick to forget. I fear that this moment will dissipate like the other social media “trends” and guess what? This is NOT a trend!!! It reminds me of when the influencer community was in an uproar over Revolve’s lack of diversity. Every influencer and their momma was speaking out and hyping each other up. But when the suggestion to stop financially supporting these brands came up (mainly from black influencers, myself included) what happened? Resistance. Silence. People didn't want to hear it. Before you knew it they were back to their LikeToKnowIt/RewardStyle posts and Revolve hauls 😒. So, forgive me but it’s a little difficult to see some of these same people so quickly get behind supporting black owned brands and businesses when they didn’t before. And I have to ask, why? And they too should ask themselves why. I believe that’s part of the work.

Now that I’ve brain dumped on you, let me say this: I am coming from a place of love. We should all hold one another accountable and encourage critical thinking, reading, and research. Failure to do so is the quickest way for us to end up right where we started with little to no progress and we simply can’t afford that.